Myth or Reality: Does the Wedding Ring Really Have to Be 3x the Groom's Salary?
2025-12-18

The three-month salary rule has haunted engagement ring shopping for decades. You've probably heard it whispered at wedding expos, seen it referenced in bridal magazines, or had well-meaning aunties casually drop it during CNY reunion dinners. 

But here's something most Singaporeans don't know: this "rule" started as an advertising campaign by De Beers, the diamond company, not some ancient tradition passed down through generations.

And yet, the pressure persists. Grooms-to-be find themselves caught between wanting to show their commitment and managing the very real financial demands of getting married in one of the world's most expensive cities. 

So, what to do? Here’s what we think.

Where This Whole Thing Started

De Beers launched their "A Diamond is Forever" campaign in 1947, and it changed everything. Before that, engagement rings weren’t particularly common in many cultures, including parts of Asia. The company needed to create demand for diamonds, so they linked the stones to romance, commitment, and social status. Brilliant marketing, really.

The specific salary guideline started appearing in the 1980s. First it was one month's salary. Then two months. Eventually, some campaigns pushed for three months. The goal was simple: get people to spend more money on diamonds.

A Singaporean Reality Check

Let's talk numbers. The median monthly salary for a Singaporean fresh graduate hovers around S$3,800 to S$4,200. Three months of that? You're looking at S$11,400 to S$12,600. For someone a few years into their career earning S$6,000 monthly, that's S$18,000.

Now add up everything else. Your BTO downpayment. Renovation costs that somehow always exceed the initial quote. Wedding dinner at a decent hotel (we're talking S$1,200 to S$1,800 per table). Photography packages. Bridal gowns and suits. Honeymoon. The numbers spiral quickly.

Most young Singaporean couples are juggling multiple financial priorities simultaneously. You're trying to build your emergency fund, maybe contribute to your parents' household, save for property, and yes, plan a wedding. Dropping three months' salary on a ring alone often means compromising something else significant.

What Couples Are Actually Doing, and What to Consider

So, when you talk to recently married couples in Singapore, you'll find the actual spending patterns tell a different story from the mythical three-month rule.

Many grooms spend between one to two months' salary on the engagement ring. Some spend less. Some spend more. The amount varies wildly based on personal circumstances, career stage, existing savings, and honestly, what the couple values together.

Finances aside, there's another angle that other couples are considering. You're choosing something your partner will wear every single day for (hopefully) the rest of their life. Comfort matters. Personal style matters. Practicality matters.

Then there's resizing, maintenance, insurance. A more expensive ring means higher insurance premiums and potentially more anxiety about loss or damage. These ongoing costs add up.

Making Your Decision

When you're ready to shop for that ring, go in with a realistic budget based on what you can comfortably afford without derailing your other financial goals. Think about what your partner wants and needs in a ring they'll wear daily. 

Because the engagement ring decision shouldn't happen in isolation. It's a financial decision, yes, but it's also about understanding what your partner wants.

Some people genuinely don't care about having a large or expensive ring. Others might have been dreaming about a specific style since they were young. You won't know unless you ask. 

And, most importantly, remember that this purchase is just one small part of building a life together. The ring matters because it symbolises something important. But the symbol doesn't need to cost three months' salary to be meaningful.

Your marriage will be built on communication, mutual support, shared goals, and genuine partnership. Those things can't be bought at any jewellery store, regardless of your budget.

So, make the decision that makes sense for you, together, and start your marriage with financial clarity rather than unnecessary debt. 

That's worth more than any ring.

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