4 Love Lessons from Mr & Mrs Wee Kim Wee's 69 Years of Marriage
2018-08-01

Singapore’s unsung heroine, the late Mrs Wee Kim Wee, was an inspiration to many in more than one way throughout her life with her roles as First Lady, wife of Mr Wee Kim Wee, mother and as her own person. While we mourn the loss of our former First Lady, we also celebrate the woman whose love and dedication has contributed to a love story that’ll continue to inspire and awe many.

Here are some lessons we can learn from the true #couplegoals.

Marrying Young 

Source: TPAS Facebook

According to the book, In the Mood for Cheongsam (2012), Mr and Mrs Wee Kim Wee tied the knot only after having known each other for a year. They were both rather young as well, with Dr Wee at 21 years old and Mrs Wee at 18 years old. The WKWs enjoyed a fruitful 69 years of marriage that saw Dr Wee through his position as a journalist to a politician with six children grand and great-grandchildren.

While some couples may prefer to marry later in life, marrying young might not always be a bad idea, especially if you are certain of your partner. Apart from growing together and sharing milestones like the WKWs, there are other benefits of marrying young.

As a young couple, the both of you might bring lesser baggage to the relationship, which will help you start a life together on an almost clean slate. It is also relatively easier to sync your lives together as you probably would not have an established routine as yet and nothing major would have been disrupted with your marriage. This way, the both of you can build a life and routine together as you grow as well.

Marrying young also means that as a couple, you wouldn’t have to cram marriage and parenthood while juggling working life as soon as you hit your 30s or 40s. Instead, you have the chance to take your time to enjoy the pleasures of marriage and parenthood without the same amount of rush or stress you might feel if you were to marry later on in life.

While marrying early definitely has its perks, it’s always best to marry when you’re financially, emotionally and mentally ready to take on the adventures and responsibilities that come with married life.

Daring to be different

Source: kopitiambot

Weddings are typically held in English, for the convenience of everyone involved. However, Mrs Wee Kim Wee stuck to her roots and traditions and had her entire ceremony in Mandarin at the United Chinese Library. While Mrs Wee fully understood everything that took place during the ceremony, Dr Wee revealed in his memoirs that he didn’t.

While it might not always be the most convenient or usual choice to have your wedding ceremony held in a language apart from English, we can see from Mrs Wee’s example that it’s important to stick to your culture and roots.

If you rather have your wedding ceremony in Mandarin, Malay, Tamil or a dialect specific to your family, do it. You can always provide English translations in booklets or notify your guests early on of this change to alert them. Afterall, a wedding itself is a tradition and if you want yours to reflect your culture, it should!

Taking vows seriously

Source: misterdanielboey

Marriage vows are promises you make to your partner. While these vows might be similar for most people, not many “live” them. However, Mr and Mrs Wee strongly believed in and acted on their vows throughout their marriage, living true to their promise to love and honour each other for the rest of their lives for richer or poorer.

She has said that on her wedding night, Dr Wee took all the money he had then, which was about $1.75, gave it to her and said, “I have no money. But whatever I have I give to you.” From then, Mrs Wee resolved to be the perfect wife to Dr Wee.

Living up to your marriage vows isn’t always as easy as it seems or as hard as it seems, but it can definitely be done. Regardless of whether you choose to personalise your own vows or use the generic ones, marriage vows should never be taken lightly. Vows in itself are sacred to your marriage, and staying true to your vows throughout your marriage might just be a portion of the secret to a long-lasting marriage.

As the late Dr Wee has said, “Those who are going to make marriage vows - no matter what form they take - should think seriously about what they mean. Vows are made to be kept and one’s word is one’s bond.” These words were part of an essay that was written to honour Mrs Wee.

Selfless dedication

Source: Worldnews

As seen from all the articles and reports on Mrs Wee, it was clear that she dedicated her life to Dr Wee and their children. Her constant support and unwavering support to her husband as during his transition from journalist to politician was highly recognised.

Especially when Mrs Wee personally prepared food for dinner parties and receptions when Dr Wee was appointed as the High Commissioner to Malaysia and Ambassador to Japan and Republic of Korea. Her children and grandchildren also have fond memories of Mrs Wee constantly cooking for them and the family while taking care of their needs such as haircuts and tailoring their clothes.

Despite her duties as the First Lady, Mrs Wee did not shrink in her responsibilities to her family. However, since marriage responsibilities these days are shared between both spouses, your life situation might not be the same as Mrs Wee.

Supporting your spouse by sharing responsibilities helps to ease their load and it helps them to know that your support is always there. While committing your lives to your marriage and family might be a challenge for many, there are definitely invaluable benefits as well.

It ensures that these elements of your life are never neglected and grow together with your relationship. This also helps establish the foundation for a strong bond between your spouse, your children and you!