3 Ways to Cut Your Wedding Guest List Without Hurting Feelings
2020-07-17

We’re currently in Phase 2 of the Circuit Breaker, and while we’re finally allowed to go out and about cautiously, there are still some safety restrictions that we have to adhere to, especially when it comes to hosting a wedding reception. 

Couples are now allowed to get married at small wedding venues with a maximum capacity of 20 people, excluding the solemniser, or required to limit the number of attendees to 10 people (excluding the solemniser again) for at-home solemnisations and those taking place at the Registry of Marriages (ROM), Registry of Muslim Marriages (ROMM), and other designated premises such as at mosques.

If your wedding is still on, this means you’ll have to make some major adjustments to your wedding guest list. It’s not easy having to strike out some of your loved ones from the list of invitees, so how do you decide who gets to stay? Here are 3 tips that can make this a much easier process:

1.  Categorise them according to priority, then invite the VIPs 

Not many couples may do this when putting together a guest list, but it is always recommended to categorise your guests into 3 groups — A, B, and C. This is useful for times when you have to suddenly trim your number of attendees, like now. 

Those that you’d really love to attend your wedding are in group A. These are usually your immediate family and bosom friends. Group B are those that you’d love to have at your wedding, and if there is a slight chance that you can somehow squeeze them into your venue, you will. For these people, you may opt to share a live streaming link of your ceremony so that they can still be a part of your wedding virtually! 

As for group C, they could be friends whom you’ve not kept in contact as much, plus-ones, or colleagues who simply cannot replace your childhood friends. These are, of course, people you would really appreciate having at your wedding, but unfortunately, they do not rank as high on the priority list. What you can do instead, is to also share a live streaming link with them, or simply share snippets of your wedding via social media. 

2. Establish boundaries 

It is not uncommon for your parents or future-in-laws to offer suggestions in terms of who they would like to invite on the big day. If they are contributing to the wedding budget, you may need to carefully consider their wishes and work out some kind of compromise (perhaps a number proportionate to the percentage they are paying), since they are part of the reason why your wedding is able to happen. 

However, if you’re paying for the wedding entirely out of your own pocket, then you may firmly, but politely, explain the situation to them and seek their understanding as to why you would much rather have your best friend at your wedding instead of a family friend that you see once a year during Chinese New Year. 

3. Show how much you care

Once the invitations are out, it is understandable that some people might feel a little disappointed that they were not selected to be a part of your big day. In order to convey your regret or to simply thank them if they’ve sent a wedding gift your way (or even for having the intention to take time off to celebrate with you!), it would be good to reach out to them with a personalised thank-you note and token of appreciation.