Wedding Roles: Should Parents Be Included In Preparations?
2020-03-12

Source: Rayhan Firmansyah

Most parents have our best interests at heart and watching their child embark on the next phase of their lives is an exciting and momentous affair. Understandably so, while some of our parents might be comfortable with leaving the wedding planning entirely up to us, others might have strong opinions on how our nuptials should be held. 

But just how involved should your parents be, if it is your wedding? At the end of the day, there is no right answer as it depends entirely on you and your partner. But if you find yourself feeling conflicted about whether or not you should listen to your mother about that guest list, we hope that this article will help you to come to a decision better. 

Are they important to you?

Source: Rayhan Firmansyah

The opinions of the people most important and dear to you will always matter. If your parents are of significance to you and you hold them in great esteem, it might be best to listen to what they have to say and seriously consider their suggestions from their standpoint.

Usually, it should be of good intentions and realising that might help you to be more accepting of it. If their opinions really go against your ideals and preferences, though, try guiding them through your thought process instead and strive to work out a compromise. 

Did they pay for the wedding?

If your parents contributed to a share of your wedding expenses, it might be only fair to include them in your wedding preparations proportionate to their contribution. As stated before, you don’t necessarily need to agree with every one of their opinions, but if you foresee that your parents will more than likely take over the entire wedding planning and you’re not comfortable with that, it’s best to think carefully before accepting their financial help in order to prevent any unwanted disagreements and unhappiness in the future.

What is the purpose of your wedding?

Source: Artem Beliaikin

There are many reasons why people hold a wedding ceremony. Whether it’s to show off your love to the world, cement a promise to your special someone, or to fulfil your parents’ wish of seeing you walk down the aisle, you need to consider the purpose of your wedding and think carefully about who is it really for. 

Again, there is no right or wrong answer here, because we all prioritise ourselves and our family differently. You just need to make sure that you’re clear on what your priorities are and act accordingly (albeit respectfully, whether it’s to your parents or your other half). 

Are your wedding plans practical?

Sometimes, it can be very easy to get caught up in our wedding fantasy and our parents might be the ones who are trying to bring us back to reality and consider the practicality of our plans. If they’re constantly advising you to do away with your dream plans and you can’t fathom why, consider sitting down with a financial advisor to check if you’ve been over-budgeting for your special day before deciding if your parents are simply worrying too much. 

For example, a wedding gown might be better to get via gown rental if you’re not intending to pass it down to your future daughter, and alternative wedding locations such as restaurants might be more economical for a small wedding as compared to the traditional hotel banquet wedding venue.

Ultimately, this big day is yours and you deserve a wedding ceremony that reflects your style, personality, and wishes. Disputes are bound to arise, either between your and your partner or you and your parents. The best approach to resolving these disputes is to talk it out as calmly and kindly as possible, and it is always important to choose your battles and to not take things personally. Just try your best to enjoy the wedding planning process as much as possible!